When Weekly Couples Therapy Isn't Enough

Why Some Couples Get Stuck in Weekly Sessions

Couples therapy is often thought of as weekly or bi-weekly sessions over the course of several months. As a matter of fact, the #1 question I get from prospective clients is, "how long does couples therapy last?" This is such a hard question to answer because there are so many variables involved.

The length of time in therapy is influenced by several factors like the extent of the presenting problems, the impact of hurt or resentment, and the clients flexibility to learn different ways of engaging in their relationship. It's also influenced by kid school activities, illness, work, family obligations, and even vacations.

Here's where Intensives can fill a gap that traditional weekly therapy cannot. Intensives, with the right therapist, can accelerate couples therapy progress. Not because the therapist magically becomes more efficient, but because the use of TIME becomes more efficient.

This post is intended to help couples navigate the decision to choose an intensive versus weekly sessions.

I will explore how Intensives can benefit a couple and also propose some important considerations for couples before they go into an intensive.

What Couples Therapy Intensives Offer

An Intensive is a multi-hour therapy session usually over the course of a few days. Often, an intensive will have an intake phase and a termination phase that are separate from the intensive itself.

The typical structure depends largely on the therapist. My intensives are 3 days long with roughly 15 hours of therapy divided between the three. Some intensives are shorter. For example, I offer a 3 hour mini-intensive for couples that are looking to try out an intensive in a brief but productive format.

Intensives allow for the couple to go through the phases of therapy in a focused, structured, and finite time frame. Unlike weekly therapy, with Intensives there is not a need to review work, set expectations for the next session, engage in small talk to "ease into a session", or have unexpected interruptions like illness or breaks. Intensives allow you and your therapist to move through the phases of treatment with focused attention, energy, and accountability.

Who Intensives Are (and Aren't) For

A good therapist can almost guarantee accelerated progress: intensives can address complex issues more rapidly. Your complex issues should be within a zone of workability, of course. Too many complex issues like substance abuse, escalated fighting, and significant resentment are probably better off being addressed with individual therapy and weekly couples therapy.

Common areas that often get energized and clarified by Intensives are:

• Identifying a stuck places where you have been unsuccessful in changing (yourself, your partner, your relationship),

• Repairing a past hurt that keeps causing pain,

• Deciding on important future decisions in the relationship like children, parents, moving, career, etc.

• Identifying trauma activations and how they are creating communication problems,

• Sex, sexual health, and expectations for intimacy,

• Opening relationships, poly relationships, infidelities, or discovered secrets,

• Failed attempts at trying to fix important miscommunications or injuries,

• Pregnancy- before or after having a baby,

• Anatomical issues with sex like pain, diabetes, or just finding a new way to be intimate,

• you have worked with AI but need some focused attention in particular problem areas,

• and many more scenarios that are unique to you and your relationship.

The intensive offers an immersive environment: couples can focus fully on therapy without outside distractions. By allowing the therapist into your relationship world, you will see more dimension and context to what you are caught in. We target the negative cycle and actively work to adjust it so that it is not controlling you- but you are in complete control of it.

How EFT Intensives Support Attachment Repair

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a scientifically based model that integrates several foundational psychotherapy concepts such as cognitive and behavioral change, somatic therapy, Humanistic, and Psychodynamic while wrapping the model itself into a Systemic and Expiriential present process.

What that means for you, is in moment experienced changes that embed deep change and build trust for further positive change attempts.

Unlike weekly therapy, your therapist is given the ability to work through emotions and conflicts without long pauses- such as those found between sessions. The therapist can also make more precise and focused interventions, allowing you and your partner the opportunity to develop and practice new skills intensively.

It's my opinion that the biggest challenge to Couples Intensives is the expertise of the therapist. It's important to interview your therapist to make sure they are the right fit. Angela provides a free 30 minute consultation call with each couples looking for a relationship intensive.

• The blog you have just read was written by Angela Jensen-Ramirez, LCSW-S, CST, who offers EFT-Based Couples Therapy Intensives, Couples Counseling, Individual Counseling, and Supervision in Austin, Texas. Email for information to consult at: angelajramirezlcsw@gmail.com.

• Angela used AI to help develop the outline and check for spelling and grammatical errors for this blog. The writing content itself was written by Angela Jensen-Ramirez, a human psychotherapist providing couples and relationship therapy since 2015.